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"One day, we went out for a beer after class and sent messages to each another. One thing led to another and I found that I really wanted her. We became close in class and chatted a lot on WhatsApp, mainly about politics. I was 12 years younger than her, and she was my student. I just know that I lusted after her, despite the adverse circumstances. Firstly, because the girl was older than me and didn't know that it was my first time with a person of the same sex. "Even though I've been dating a guy for almost ten years, my first time with a woman was at a motel, and I had to pretend that it was normal for me. We had good sex on another occasion, and then we became friends." - Marcelo, 22 years old, identifies as gay He took me home, and we went out a few times afterward. He found it funny and I gave him what must be the worst blow job of my life. I stupidly asked if I could suck him off, because I was dying to do it (even though my dick indicated that I wasn't). "I felt like shit, but he understood the situation, laughed and calmed me down. We kept touching each other, and I think I just made things worse, because my goal of 'staying hard' started to hammer away frantically in my head. I really wanted to, but my nervousness didn't go away at all, and I couldn't stay hard even for a second. "But my head and heart weren't on the same page. We took our clothes off and were naked in the car. We carried on kissing, but my nervousness didn't go away at all. But seeing that it wasn't going to happen, he just came close to me slowly and kissed me. He was patient and gave me time to take some initiative. It's different today, but at the time, it was still hard for me to accept my sexuality.
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"I knew what was about to go down, but I didn't know what to do, nor how to do it, or even if it was the right thing to do. He looked at me with an inviting smile and seemed to find my surprise funny. We arrived at a deserted place and everything was kinda dark. We chatted, went to a fast food joint, and it was all very cool, until I realized in the car that he was taking a different route from the one to my house. "He was already fun to chat with online, and, luckily, also in person.
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We were chatting on the app, until he told me that he was going to drive to my house so that we could meet in person. He was studying law at the Pontifical Catholic University. "I was still 'straight' and secretly used Tinder to match with guys.